School!! YES!!

Well, it's been quite a while since I have entertained the masses with my clever wit and wisdom. I thought you were all over due for a good dose of Lou.

I'm not really sure where to begin. I know there is so much to tell you that I can not yet delve into. It makes me sad, because I want to share everything with my readers. Sometimes, that is just not possible. Unfortunately, now is one of those times. Soon I will be able to tell everyone EVERYTHING and it will be amazing, and cathartic and wonderful and beautiful and ugly and obnoxious and hairy and smelly and bitchy. All of the things we all love in one epic blog post, right? Right. I thought you would see things my way. I am, however, awesomesauce and amazingness all rolled into one.

Let me catch you up on the things I can catch you up on for the moment.

1. Have you noticed my new blog background and header? Yeah. School starts Tuesday. HELL YES! It's been a long, eventful summer. One of pain, one of love, one of fun, one of sights, one of epic proportions. That being said, I am ready for the kids to go back. They are ready to go back. Well, Littlest Little is not so happy about it, however, school schedule will soon take over and Littlest Little will be fine. Boy Wonder is super happy and excited to be going back to school. This surprises me none. The Eldest is starting High School and I am all over the place with that. I am excited for her, yet scared and sad all at the same time. I also realized how very old I am. Many extra white hairs have sprung from my scalp this summer. I'm telling you, God gave mother's an extra dose of crazy. We are all over the place all the time yet still manage to hold it all together. Amazing creatures we are. Wow, I digressed. Eldest is super excited and nervous.
2. I am battling with my own inner demons and the demons of other people. Not sure how that works exactly and why I am to battle someone else's demons, but, you know, whatever. Guess I deserve that Karma for a minute.
3. I am patiently waiting for Karma to FIND THE RIGHT FUCKING ADDRESS AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT NOW. I AM A GOOD PERSON. MOVE THE FUCK ALONG. I HAVE A LIST.....SHALL I REMIND YOU KARMA?
4. I am looking forward to the holidays this year. For the first time since Boy Wonder was born. Everything is new this year. Everything is different. Everything will be better for the rest of our lives. The negativity gone, and it will stay that way.

That is about all I can muster to say for the moment. Ok, I could totally muster more, however, it would not be in my best interest to do so.

Wishing you all a happy, safe and fun Labor Day Weekend.

Lots of love,

~Lou~

Sometimes, My Brain Just Won't STFU.

Occasionally, I have these random urges to blog. Maybe it's because there is so much going on in my heart and my head, I need to get it out. Sometimes, I am able to publish these blogs, other times, it's not so smart for me to publish. So, with those, they sit in my draft folder, seething and reeling, and there they will remain. Not everyone needs to know every thought I have. I mean, they are MY thoughts after all. Most of the time there is not an issue with sharing them, other times, well, not even I should know my own thoughts.

Moving on. It's been a summer of epic proportions. I blogged about what happened earlier in the summer. So let me catch you up. My epic vacation ended less than epic, and we have been home ever since. My epic divorce is slowly creeping up on me. The beginning of an EPIC school year is fast approaching. WOO HOO!!! EPIC ALONE TIME!!!! Yeah, I said it. Hey, you try raising 3 ADHD kids on your own and tell me you aren't looking forward the start of school. I guarantee you, you will feel the same way as I do.

As we approach this epic school year, the remainder of the year will be full of epic changes. Obviously, as stated several times, I will be getting divorced. We will have family in town for the first time ever on Thanksgiving (I am SUPER looking forward to this.). We will be making another trip to Oklahoma to visit for the holidays and gather the eldest child's paternal influence and guide him back here. Yep. He's moving here. He wants to spend as much time as possible with his daughter, and that, I find truly admirable.

I just had an epiphany for my New Years Eve post. But, that, my friends and readers is 4 months and 18 days in the future. Better get started on that EPIC post now.

Short post for tonight. Just wanted to get some shit out of my brain. There you have it.

Later Taters!

~Lou~

Update on Epic '13

Amidst all of the stress, the confusion and the emotional roller coaster I have been through in the last year, I was determined to make 2013 epic. And epic it has been. Epic fights, epic reunions, epic road trips, epic hospital stays, an epic divorce pending, and an epic new beginning. Let's ponder this a moment. I still have 5 months of epicness to come! I wonder how much more epic I can add to my epicness.

To start at the beginning. I started my year off with epic hopes that my life was taking a turn for the better. I quickly realized that the epic lies were just the beginning of the epic demise. HAHA, did you like that poetry there? I took an epic leap of faith back to my past. I waited for a response for months. In those months, I had a great and painful spring. I uncovered the epic lies, was told half truths of not such epicness, and fought tooth and nail for a marriage that I believed in. I got ink (LOVE INK), I went to an amazing cemetery, sampled new cuisine, and flaunted my awesomeness around town, and renewed an epic friendship. I received a response from my leap of faith, and it nearly sent me into a tailspin. There were thousands of what if's, how can I's, and where do I go with this now's.

Background: Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit! I had just graduated high school and met this guy. He was in the navy. We fell in love. We had a crazy romance. He got out of the navy. He went home....far, far away from me. A couple months later, I was home with him. His family became my family in the blink of an eye. Still, I was young.....super young. I missed my family. I missed my home. I was literally home sick. I cried, a lot. Well, the rentals decided that I was in desperate need of coming home. They surprised me. They came to get me. Home for Christmas! YAY! I can go back after Christmas. Well, yeah, that didn't happen. I got a job at a travel agency. I had already been to school for that. Had my license. We (he and I) hadn't spoken in quite a few months. I was moved into an apartment, had a roommate, and was moving on. I decided one night to call my best friend out there where he lives. I hadn't talked to her in so long, and I missed her. I called. Apparently he was there watching the kids, and answered the phone. I was dumbstruck. I cried, he told me not to cry. We started talking again. He came out to live with me back home. We made it about a month and a half. He went home. SURPRISE! I was gonna have a baby. I don't really remember what actually happened, somehow he and I stopped talking, spoke once after the eldest was born and never spoke again.

That is until......May 28, 2013. I finally got a response to the feelers I sent out there and May 28^th was the day that I contacted him. You see, his daughter wanted to know him. Ok. I bit the bullet. Now I am waiting for the explosion. Much to my surprise, and delight, there was no explosion. None at all. I was incredibly happy with the outcome. I began planning an epic summer road trip for the eldest to meet her family.

Soon after the epic leap of faith response moment came the epic fight. The epic moment of go away, no more, I'm done. It apparently was an epic cleansing for both of us involved. Just so you know the epic fight was not with the epic leap of faith. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes friendship just fades away, and sometimes friends can't handle what is happening in your life. They think they can, but in reality, it's just too much to take in. Sometimes, their hearts are in the right place, but, it's really not what you need or want to hear at the moment. Sometimes, opinions can be the death of something that once was great. You know? I am a firm believer that everyone comes into your life for some reason. I know the reason. I appreciate the reason and I will treasure the lessons learned and the memories made. That is all I am going to talk about that. Moving on.

Summer 2013: Now, I realize that I still have an ENTIRE MONTH left in the summer. So far, it has been so amazing, and wonderful and beautiful I just have to share it with you. June was half way filled with the end to another school year. I am proud to report that I have a rising 9^th, 3^rd and 2^nd grader. Pretty sure I said that in a previous blog, but, whatever, still proud, still gloating. I made a few trips to the Bestie's house. I had another one planned, but my gall bladder had different ideas. If you skipped that blog......well.....piss on you. You don't deserve to know about it anyway. I recuperated just enough to still make my trip out west. Far, far out west. Oh, what the hell. I went to Oklahoma. (Yeah, just so you know, I have people there.) I started off my trip with a pit stop at the Bestie's house so that the littles could run off their energy and not drive me batty all the way to Arkansas. We stayed a couple hours and hit the highway. We made it to our destination around 9:30 pm, slept for the night, well the kiddos did, me? Not so much. We got up in the morning early, had our breakfast and headed in to visit with friends and family. We made it out of there around noon thirty-ish and were absolutely, 100% Oklahoma bound! I had many texts and phone calls asking where we were, if we had arrived yet, what time we thought we would be there, etc, etc. Arrival time: 6:30ish. HOLY SHIT BALLS. After 16 years of not seeing his sister, she ran to me with open arms and hugged me so tight. It was amazing. He was standing across the parking lot with a smile on his face that I hadn't seen in 15 years. 15 years people. 15 years of not seeing this man. My eldest daughter was hugging her Aunt. When she finished, I walked her over to meet her Father for the first time in her life. She stood there, I stood there and waited for her to hug him, well, she didn't budge, so, I took my chance to get a hug that I haven't had in so long. It was forgiveness and a new found respect for both of us. For either of us to get over the pain and anger from all those years is quite the miracle, in and of itself. God works in mysterious ways. God also has a way of healing wounds that you think can never be healed. Long story shorter than it could be, with probably more detail than you need, I was reunited with a family that I was sure wanted nothing to do with me, friends that I thought would despise me, new family members that welcomed me with open arms, and introduced to a niece that I absolutely adore. My eldest is happy. She sees where she came from, and appreciates the love that she is given. She knows she is loved and wanted, and the healing has begun for her. Thank you Jesus. We stayed longer than we had originally planned, which was great. It gave us more time. It gave us a few more days to be with family. We headed back to the East Coast. It was sad, but, I was determined not to cry. I know we will be back. Actually, planning on heading back that way come Christmas. Provided that the epic divorce leaves me being able to deliver children to their fathers for holidays. There is so much to this story that everyone SHOULD know, but, unfortunately CAN'T know until the timing is right.

I arrived back at the Bestie's house and have been here since. Headed home in the next couple days. Gotta love on my fur babies. We have been crafting and singing and laughing and having a grand time. Can't wait to finish out our vacation with a bang!

Later taters!

Continuing the #epic13 in true Lou fashion!

~Lou~