Well, it’s been a while. Let’s see…..where to
start???
Oh yeah! The reason I shut down my blog to
begin with!! The Epic Fucking Divorce. Papers are signed, waiting on final
decree so that I can be free from the liar. That brings me to this: She STILL
doesn’t know the truth!! STILL!!! He hasn’t told her the real story. We had a
conversation about it when he was here for court. He still hasn’t told her that
all that time he was coming home to see his WIFE and children. To spend time
with his family. To be a family. Still hasn’t told her that she really IS an
affair. Still hasn’t told her that he destroyed our family and that their baby
was the absolute dissolution of our marriage and our family. I kind of feel
sorry for her. But not really, because, let’s face it, she kinda did it to
herself. She had warnings. Being lied to sucks. I know. I lived it for 13 ½
years. When someone tells you, you might ought to listen…..you know….older and
wiser? Sometimes it’s best to stop listening to your fucking heart and listen
with your fucking brain.
Enough about that. Enough about them. I will
never get the apology I deserve. She will never understand until it happens to
her. And she will NEVER be woman enough to stand to my face and say…”I fucked
up”.
So!! What have I been up to? I’m so glad you
asked! I’ve been a busy, busy bee.
(In the interest of privacy, I’m not telling
all of the story. Not for my privacy, because, really? I don’t care who knows
what….pretty sure one party involved wouldn’t care either, but, since there was
not consultation prior to the authoring of this blog, so, I’ll leave a HUGE
piece of the story out….)
I helped someone start a good sized group on
Facebook, got lied about, kicked out, had my name smeared and maintained my
dignity. I left the group with some very, very dear friends by my side, and
started another group with an amazing, wonderful friend. You know, the internet
can be a wonderful tool to help people, and a tremendous tool to harm people
too. It’s a blessing and a curse. Through this experience, I have gained many
friends…..all over the United States. Friends that are wonderful, amazing,
LOYAL people. People that make my day complete. People that I couldn’t make it
through some days without. Friends that have picked me up, dusted me off and
are helping me to rebuild. Friends that LOVE me. Really, really love me. I’ve
also managed to gain a few enemies. Enemies that are…well….thundercunts of epic
proportions. You know the type….they just single you out for no fucking reason,
and go balls to the wall out for you, and everything that makes you happy. Fuck
it. I’m back to my fuck off attitude. Kiss my passive aggressive ass. I’m
better than they will ever think about being. They could never, ever amount to
the woman that I am. Oh, and by the way, if you are reading this, and I’m sure
you are, back the fuck off of me. I’m minding my own fucking business, leaving
you alone and not saying a fucking word. Don’t back off? I don’t give a fuck
who I piss the fuck off…..I’ll take your ass down. You won’t know what hit you.
I won’t take you down in a small way, it will be BIG, and EPIC and you will be
trying to figure out what happened long after the dust settles. Don’t fuck with
me. This all started because I made a fatal mistake by trusting YOU with a
small bit of information. I don’t know what I did to you to make you hate me,
but, it is what it is, and you have fucked up and made the WRONG enemy. Perhaps
I should direct you to my ex best friend……I’m sure she can tell you what can
and WILL happen when you fuck too hard with me. I’ll take it a while, but, I
eventually reach a breaking point, and when I do……God have mercy on you.
What’s in store in the future? I have lots of
plans to meet lots of my amazing friends that live in my computer! One I will
be seeing again this coming weekend. Another I will be seeing SOON. Not sure
when, but VERY soon. I’m making plans to head up north and spend some time with
a badass Bronx bitch and her amazing man, maybe dragging someone with me, not
sure yet. (I should discuss that with him……oops, if you’re reading, we’re
planning this! Wanna come with?) I’m hoping to get to Cornville for some much
needed fuckery with one of the besties. Looking forward to my birthday for the
first time in years….epicness and ink….never gets better than that! Hoping for
some much needed R & R this coming summer while meeting several other
people from my incredible internet adventures. You know……I’m fucking popular,
bitches! Be jealous. At least I’m not a mean girl.
I’m continuing on with being Epic, Fab and
Amazing. With my littles. We have become fierce. The Fierce Four. Fuck with us.
I dare you.
Am I still broken? Absolutely. But, guess
what? My pieces are put back together. Though I may be cracked, I have
incredible people filling those cracks with love. See, I’ve learned some shit
along this fucked up journey…..it’s not a person that makes me whole, it’s
love. Love. Something I have a lot of…..a lot to give, and so much to receive.
It’s been hard for me to open up and receive the love that is being handed to
me through this. Love was a hostage for so long. Something withheld. Something unattainable.
Sometimes, things are missing and you don’t realize they are missing. You just
become accustomed to life as you know it, along with the pain and misery. That’s
NOT what it is! It’s always there, you just have to make the conscious decision
to go after it. Accept it. Embrace it.
To all of my fans, thank you for believing in
me, supporting me, and corralling my crazy.
To all of my haters……..fuck off. Kiss my ass.
No matter what you bitches throw at me….you will NEVER break me again. I’ve
dealt with this shit for far too long, and you won’t take me down. See, I like
to piss everyone off. Live well, Laugh often and Love much. You can’t break my
spirit. I let one thundercunt do that before. I will NEVER let it happen again.
Later Taters……
Hugs and Smooches,
~Lou~
