Amidst all of the laughter, and joy, and hilarity, the underlying me is dying. You see, I can pretend. I can act. I can make you think everything is fine until my body, mind and soul just can't take it anymore. Life is not fair. Life sucks. It doesn't work out the way you picture it. Ever. Things happen, people change and turn into things and beings you never expected them to. LIFE SUCKS.
My main reason for writing is mostly about my lesson for 2013. My 35th birthday cathartic moment. LET GO.
This is the hardest thing God has ever asked me to do. This has been my hardest lesson yet. You see, the Devil and his Demons are attacking me and my family. God is testing me. God is teaching me to LET GO. It is painful. It hurts to the core. I ache and I want to just lay down and die. I want to fight back with those who are doing these things to me. I want to hold onto all of it. I want to scream and punch and FIX the problems. I realize God is telling me "Let it go. I got this. Trust ME. Allow me to show you my work." I am trying, God, I really am. I even got it tattooed on my body to see it every day and remind myself that you got this.
So, I am letting go, letting God and trusting in his perfect plan.
Now, before you, the enemy, think you have won, let me tell you this: Letting go does NOT mean giving up. There is a difference. I will NEVER give up. I will never stop believing that my God is a just and true God.
Jesus Karma SUCKS......just thought I should give you the heads up.
Playing with fire never ends well. Ever. You always get burned in the end. Wisen up, see what is happening. You may think you have control and that you are holding everything. Well, you are wrong. God holds everything and he will RESTORE what has been broken. He will heal what has been wounded. You will reap what you have sewn. The fruits of your labor shall not prosper. I speak this truth KNOWING that my God will deliver us from the evil that is being done. My God is the most powerful being, and he WILL save us from this. He WILL RESTORE. He WILL HEAL. He HAS promised me a future full of hope and things to help, not harm me.
Good luck in your endeavors. May you find what you are looking for. May you live a life worthy of everything you are.
Now, stop stalking my blog. Stop stalking my Facebook. Aren't you already in enough trouble over that already? Clearly, you still have some lessons to learn.
KISSES
~Lou~
I will NEVER give up. TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES.
Clearly this was not true love. Because, HE is an asshat and the captain of the USS DoucheCanoe. Hateful and self centered. THAT will never change, and a person like that is incapable of loving. So, yes, my love for him is dead. And I'm not sorry.
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